Heavy and Light

Wil loves riding his recumbent bike around our property. The challenge is I can’t fully trust he won’t go out to the road. And it’s a busy road.

I was talking to fellow mother yesterday. Her 16-year-old son, who also has Ds, is in summer speech and occupational therapy with Wil. As much as her son loves swimming, she will never have a pool. For the same reason I need to check in on Wil on his bike. She can’t fully trust he won’t go in the pool unsupervised.

Our children are teenagers. They know they are teenagers, their bodies tell them they are teenagers, and they desire the independence of teenagers. And as a parent that has raised 3 babies to teenage-hood, I enjoy a certain measure of independence too.

Last night, Matt and I were enjoying relaxing together after dinner. Wil wanted nothing to do with relaxing. He went outside to ride, and sure enough when I went to check on him he was getting close to the road. He was likely trying to make the biggest circle around our yard that he could, but again, I can’t be fully sure.

Even at 15 years old, he requires an extra level of supervision. And possibly, or possibly not, for many more years to come. With Wil one thing is certain — I won’t know until I know. (If you are a neurotic planner like me, a child w Ds is your best cure! 😂)

Many of my friends are becoming empty nesters. Matt and I may or may not be. I knew this uncertainty would be a reality when Wil was born, but now that the reality is closer, its an interesting feeling of limbo to be in.

I love my life with Wil. He is so fun to be with. We sing in our off-key voices at the top of our lungs. He still surprises me with new milestones, and huge bear-hugs that now knock me over as he’s grown. I’m thankful to fully share in his youthful exuberance.

But I also have a child that may never fully grasp the risks of certain fundamental independences into adulthood. The fullness of that can feel very heavy at times.

And yet, when life feels heavy, it’s being in Wil’s presence that purely and fully lightens the load.