Tag: triumph

Wil rode the school bus today.

In this house we take no such statements for granted.

In middle school, Wil riding the bus proved unsuccessful. He was already having a hard time transitioning to a new school with new educators and hormones were in full effect. The middle school years are challenging; then add in communication barriers and cognitive delays that a body’s progression into puberty does not wait for, and you’ve got behaviors. Every day was a new experience, and we were rewriting the plan over and again. Finally, I called “Uncle” on the bus riding as it was adding stress to Wil amongst all the other areas we were navigating at the time. It’s challenging to do that, as you never know if you are giving up at the right time, or too soon. But what I have learned is no matter what the success — or lack there of — looks like from the outside, there is groundwork being laid on the inside.

Wil is now in 11th grade. He loves being 16 years old. And he is fond of reminding me he will be 17 years old on his birthday. He wants to go to college like his sisters. We will cross that bridge — in this house we are very used to crossing bridges as they come. As he is growing into his indepedence and his maturity has blossomed, he told me he wants to ride the bus home. I joyously concurred.

Last spring, he did ride the transfer bus from his high school to the elementary school where I work. This was very successful, so I think it was the perfect nudge to riding the bus the full way home.

All was going smoothly until 2 weeks ago. Wil walked to the bus like he always did, but then just kept on a-walking. His teacher ran after him and walked him back to the bus. Wil refused to get on. So Wil and his teacher walked to the office. His teacher called me and I picked him up. This happened every day for a week.

All I could get out of Wil was that the bus was too crowded. He refused to sit up front where it was quieter. But he is in 11th grade, so why would he want to do that? I suggested his noise-cancelling headphones. Wil is very aware of his looks, and doesn’t want to look different. I want to make clear that he is in no way ashamed of his disabilty, nor should he be. And noise sensitivity is part of his disability. But Wil puts great importance on his appearance, and you know by now his deep affection for baseball hats, so noise-cancelling headphones would throw off his style; and his hat. (Wil only wears his headphones now if he is at the movies or a concert, but he’ll only go to these loud places if he really wants to be there.)

So, here we were. Wil refused to ride up front where it was quieter. He wanted to sit in the back with his friends. But it was too crowded. So it makes total sense that he would attempt to walk up to the bus, get nervous and keep going.

Just being able to make sense of things is HUGE!! When Wil was in middle school, he was not able to express to me his reasons for being nervous on the bus. His educators and I had to do our best detective work, but with so many factors at play, our best guesses were only that — guesses.

As Wil could now tell me the reason for not riding the bus, we could have a discussion about it. Now Wil had true ownership in his decision as we could have a conversation about his options as I knew what the struggle was.

Whether what we come up with works for the long-term or not is to be seen. But what is most important is that Wil has a voice in this, and that is something he’s always deserved to have, and we’ve worked hard for him to share it.

With this knowledge, Wil’s teacher created a chart to hang in the classroom. Each day Wil rides the bus he will get a sticker. Wil thrives on recognition so was immediately into this idea. Every 3 stickers, I will take Wil to the market to pick out a handmade sandwich of his choice and a drink. He also loves this type of adventure.

Today is day one of this plan. I went up to the school and parked in the lot just in case Wil refused (I parked out of Wil’s sight so he wouldn’t backtrack.)

Wil’s teacher walked with him, and he successfully made it on the bus!

In this house, we celebrate successes!

Today is one day, tomorrow will be another. And so will the next. Every day we cross a new bridge. Every day I will feel a tightening in my stomach at 2:45 with one eye on my phone. And every day it doesn’t ring I’ll release the butterflies in my stomach to fly in celebration.

In this house, every day is a new day. We never take such things for granted.