Unfiltered

This morning Wil sat on his bed. He wouldn’t get dressed. The frustration rose in me. The clock doesn’t stop for him. School would start ready or not. Inside I have to give my heart a deep breath. Why do the simplest things have to take such patience? Every.single.day. I ask, in my calmest voice, if he needs help. No. I say ok, and walk away. I don’t know what he’ll do. I know I can’t push it or he’ll push back. The tension rises in me. I exhale it again.

A 14-year streak of sitting on his bed, and he won’t move, and the clock is ticking, and the only way to get him to move is to be your calm damnedest self when you just want to scream for him to please just do the simplest thing in the world. Please just put your pants on.Then you hear him move. And it’s like the best thing in the world. The absolute best. And he emerges from his room victorious, with his long-sleeved T-shirt with Luke Bryan on the front, and yes, his pants on. He raises his arms, “Look Mom!”

It’s an event so much smaller than those filtered close-up selfies proclaiming “gratitude!” and “seize the day!” I mean, my selfie would be me in my pjs, holding a cup of coffee while playing air guitar in response to Wil’s clothing choice, because we just freaking seized the day.

Yes, so much smaller than those filtered, designed proclamations. And yet, so much bigger.