As I drove home from an early morning workout today, and reached the winding, open country roads near my home, I was struck by a feeling of light-hearted, yet subdued euphoria. It was a very peaceful feeling. I investigated that feeling. Of course, working out always gives me a wonderful lift, but there was a peacefulness about this feeling that was different from an endorphin rush. Before me, across the wide-open fields, the sky was a big, blank canvas of white. It was a misty morning and there was not one ounce of blue in the sky. The clouds had completely melded together and blended softly into the rising mist from the ground. It was a subtle yet serenely beautiful sight.
We all hark for sunny days. Bright, warm rays breaking through fluffy cloud pillows, warming our shoulders, lifting our spirits, and beckoning us all out to play! Strangers say hello to one another on the street, everything feels a little better and a little brighter for the gift of the sun.
These feelings don’t easily rise to the surface on a cloud-covered misty day. Yet this morning, I was hit with the subdued beauty of it all. Of the greatness and vastness of the white space before me. A space where all color stems from. A space where all is possible in this vastness.
When I arrived home, I vowed to keep this special kind of light I felt within me. It’s funny when you change your perspective on things, how everything around you changes. I had some breakfast and then went to take a shower. My shower curtain has a watercolor picture of the Tree of Life. It’s a very colorful shower curtain and I chose it for that reason. Knowing this curtain would be one of the first things I saw every day, I knew the bright colors and the symbolic meaning would be an immediate spirit lifter. Today, however, when I placed my hand on the shower curtain to pull it back to step in the shower, I noticed not the colors, but the white space the colors were painted upon. The white seemed almost inconceivably bright. I then noticed all the little details in a single, purple-pink petal on the tree. In all the time I had this curtain, I saw only all the colors together, but today noticing the white, it brought out even more detail and brightness in the colors.
The lightness of the clouds and the mist added a lifting calmness to my morning, and it will last further into this day and beyond. As winter makes its way, and the days of sun fall fewer and far between, I will draw back on my memory of this morning and bring it back. I will fill my heart with this subdued, yet powerful calmness. Not every day needs to be cheery and bright to be deemed good and heart-warming.
What I before easily saw as dull and grey, I now see as a vast, open backdrop that makes sunny, colorful days shine with even more detail. Days like today are perfect for quiet, serene reflection. For appreciating these background days of life that are like big, blank open canvases upon which to write our own beautifully colored and detailed stories.
Stories of Wil, my son, who has Down syndrome 