I was told this journey with Wil would get more challenging as he gets older, and it is in a way. But, I’m here to say it’s ok. What is life without challenges? Every time I’ve had a challenge, I’ve reached out and looked for answers. That is how I’ve discovered the speaker Tony Robbins and how he says to get excited when you hit a challenge because that means a transformation is happening. Reaching out is how I have found the most extraordinary people. I like to focus on the positive, it’s my survival mechanism. But somehow, that is looked on as being unrealistic. However, if I complained about all that is wrong, that is somehow deemed more realistic. Well, I don’t really know what the “right” way or the “wrong” way to look at something is. And I truly don’t care. I just know how I do best in this life, how I cope and make it through, and that’s to look on the bright side.
Wil is getting bigger, and stronger and more willful. He plopped down on the grocery store floor the other day and I had a hard time lifting him up. I shared this with one of the coaches I work with and he said, “Well, sounds like you need to get in here for more strength training!” That is what the bright side does. It gives you solutions and a sense of humor during the rough spots! I need friends around me who understand this when things get tough. Not friends that commiserate with me, but friends that understand. Friends that just “get it.” We laugh about the challenges together. Not because they are easy, but because we are in this together. And, dang there is so much good that comes from these challenges. Challenges truly are our positive transformations in life. I have met the most spectacular people on this journey that I would likely not have met otherwise. People that do not wallow, but rise to the occasion. Not because they are trying to, it’s just who they decide to be in life. Yesterday, for example, Wil had a playdate with his friend, Lila.
Wil has his limits, heck we all do. His limits tend to come quicker than his typical peers and there is not always the ability to rationalize with him during these times. This makes play dates with friends challenging for Wil, as he will seemingly hit a limit “all of a sudden” and act out or just shut down. When this happens, he does not respond to rationalization or discussion. What he needs is space and time to feel back in control of his situation. This can be challenging for an adult to understand let alone a fellow 10-year-old. The tendency is to coddle, and that is not helpful. He does not need coddling (which tends to border on patronizing). Coddling spoils Wil, and also undermines him as an individual. Being patient is compassionate and understanding of an individual’s (special needs or not) circumstances. When Wil had his moments, Lila would be patient with him and also switch around the game they were playing to re-engage him. I can not express enough the gratitude I have for friends like this, and what I have learned through these experiences.
I suppose I could complain about Wil not having many play dates because people just don’t understand him. I suppose I could complain that it’s so hard as he is getting bigger and challenging to rationalize with. Instead, I will pump more iron to lift my beautiful son as long as he needs lifting, and I will find friends that love and support us. And, you better believe I am eternally thankful for that fact. Without these challenges I would not know that patience that I do. Without these challenges I would not know the extraordinary people that I do. And, my friends at the gym would not tease me about how ripped my arms are 😉
Ahhh, this life is a good one. That’s the way I choose to look at it.