A Baptismal

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Wil was born with Down syndrome. I knew within hours of his birth. The fear of the unknown overwhelmed me. I felt the loss of what I believed he would be. The hurt and shock of that moment has not faded over time. I still cry when I think back on that time. I may always cry when I think back on that time. Yet what I know today that I did not know then: this moment of time was a blessing, not the curse I believed it to be. I do not wish this hurt away, or wish it never happened. The deepness of this hurt was exactly what I needed to grab my attention. A place within me that I thought was without light, is the same place growth was ignited and began to evolve. Life became magnified. The littlest events became full of meaning and power. Joy intensified. Love is everywhere, I just forgot to look for it. The happiness I know today is not from outside forces but from deep inside. A place I wouldn’t know how to get to, or even know was there, without the initial guidance from this deep hurt. I may always cry when I think back on that time now almost 10 years ago. I hope I always do. These tears reflect a baptismal; a blessed new perspective on life.

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